Running From God
The morning sun gleamed off the blue glass skin of the Nicholas Tower, its sheen taunting the decaying grey-brown buildings beneath. It was full of hollow pride, the building itself was half empty and unused, a monument to a half-made people chasing the trappings of wealth. The skeletons of half-finished skyscrapers merged into slums and slums sprawled over the land like galvanized mold, ending at the seafront where no mold would grow. Here the once turquoise waters of the Caribbean Sea became ash-grey with filth. Jedidiah Jagessar navigated the packed streets of Port of Spain, people bumping into him in their rush to get to work. This annoyed him, but once they didn’t sully his suit all was well. He was late for court, but since court always ran late it didn’t matter. He swaggered with a confidence born of cynicism: he didn’t care anymore. He was just going through the motions, to” eat ah food” as they say. He wasn’t even a lawyer yet, just a student filling out his court hours to make the bar. I don’t even see the point anymore, there’s no glamour in it. I’ll be the servant of the average cheat who just wants to out-cheat the next cheat. Or I’ll be defending the money of the man who cheat on his wife. And such were Jed’s thoughts as he passed the National Library. Too cynical to
see where the ash-man came from. Jed’s swaggering pace came to a halt in front a half-naked man, covered in a layer of what looked like ash. The man’s hair was matted and long but his face clean shaven. He stared directly at Jed, as if daring him to pass. Jed sidestepped to the right, then the left as fast as he could, but the man matched his movements with ease. He has to be at least 6’ 2, Perfect muscle tone, Abs like Jesus. Even if I could outfight him I’d get ash all over my suit… How the hell do they get muscles eating garbage dammit? Jed looked around for a way out, people paid him no more than a passing quizzical glance and walked around. He’d get more help fighting a brick wall; street dwellers were invisible to society. Oh yeah this guy’s a person too… I can bribe him. Okay lawyer dude! Your first bribe let’s go! Jed pulled out a 20 dollar bill and handed it to the ash-man. “Take this and let me pass please, I’m late for…” “Go home now.” Jed quivered in his fancy loafers. The man’s voice was thunder itself. Jed’s first urge was to hide under his bed. Can’t be bribed… he’s probably insane. Shit! Time to retreat with grace. “I’ll be going now… you can have the money if you like…” “Go home boy.”
Jed stuffed the money in his pocket and turned away swiftly. He walked down the street as fast as possible, bumping into people along the way. He looked over his shoulder to see if he was being followed. The ash-man simply stood and stared back at him. He’s still there, but I’m safe… Just need to take a side street and get to court Jed passed the national library and reached the corner of Abercrombie and Queen’s Street. He was just about to turn off Abercrombie when he heard thunder. The whole world seemed to shake with the sound. A wave of hot air knocked him off his feet. He fell forward, landing on his hands and knees. He crouched into fetal position instinctively, his head splitting with pain, his ears ringing. A wave of smoke and dust rippled over him, burning his eyes and throat. Jesus Jesus. Jesus… What’s going on?? Jed spun on his rump to see the upstreet he was just on. Black smoke vomited into the sky somewhere off ahead, the fire’s source just out of his limited view. Everyone around him was on the ground. Amidst a sea of fetuses it was impossible to tell if anyone was hurt. Then it struck him. How did the vagrant know?? In a fit of madness he leapt to his feet and ran back to the spot where he met his savior. He almost tripped over a dozen fetuses along the way. He looked in every possible direction, but there was no trace of the ash-man. Tiny cinders floated on the breeze like decorative confetti. Sirens shrieked off in the distance, even as people ran to and fro in panic.
Jed stared at the scene half-dazed and afraid, trying to make sense of it all. I should go home. I know what I saw. Jed sat on his bed scrolling through the latest news on his laptop. So many dead from the blast, so many more injured. Part of him was outraged and sad, sad to the point of sickness. The greater part of him, however, was perplexed and in awe. Was the vagrant a terrorist involved in the bombing? Or was he something else? In past months famines had struck half the planet, making it hard even for those with good jobs to afford food. The masses of the unemployed only had hatred and hunger to fill their stomachs, riots and demonstrations were common. The bombs though, were new. The newsfeeds reported similar bombings in every major city, targeting banks and government buildings, all within several hours of each other. Tens of thousands had died in a single day. Millions more were dying of hunger in the third world as well, but they didn’t make headlines. Jed was also concerned about the unspoken dialogue going on between world powers. Guns and boots were being marched to every border, backed by tanks and air power which were backed by the good old fashioned nuclear deterrent. That’s when you know shit got real. When they stop helping each other and start getting ready for war.
Jed closed off the news page and opened a new search: “Supernatural encounter”. The search loaded: fifty-three million results, 7th most popular search today. I’m not the only one? He skimmed through page after page of drivel. First the major sects and their dogma, then the smaller sects claiming the rapture was imminent, then the nutjobs who said the famine was a satanic conspiracy… Then something caught his eye. A link to a forum discussion, the opening post started “Often we run from the cleansing fire, but even as we walk the narrow path we are protected in ways beyond knowing…“ Jed double clicked the link to the forum-site. It loaded, only showing the first two comments, the thread-opener asking for people to share their supernatural experiences, and the first reply to the thread. Jed’s heart began to race as he read the reply. “My wife works on Wall street. She said today a strange man stopped her in the street and told her to go home. He wouldn’t let her pass… if it wasn’t for that she’d be dead. Thank God.” Jed checked the time of the post: twenty hours ago. This must have happened yesterday, when the bombings started, near the same time I met my Ash-man. It can still be a coincidence… But what if there are more?? There were hundreds more posts in that same thread but he couldn’t get access to them. He tried to sign up for the forum, but it was restricted to US citizens only. He
was locked out. Dammit! I need to know! Getting so close to the answer frustrated him to no end. He closed his laptop and went to the front porch. A gentle breeze blew in from the west, caressing his skin. He was bareback, wearing only red shorts to keep cool in the afternoon heat. He often came out on the porch to read and relax. It was surrounded on all sides by the garden, a green wall of fruit trees, flowers and small shrubs. A single Kiskidee twittered in the nearby mango tree. Jed usually loved the little brown and yellow bird, but today its singing annoyed him. He went down on the red tiled floor and did pushups. Then some crunches. Before he knew it the sun had almost set, and he was sweaty and panting. Jed felt better after a cold shower. Better but still incomplete. I need to tell someone… Someone who’d entertain that it was more than a coincidence… Where’s a theist when you need one? Jed knew who he had to call.
“Sam are you busy? I really need to talk” Jed said into the phone. “Not right now … Is something wrong?” Sam’s voice was honeyed milk. Just high pitched enough to be feminine and soothing, even cute. “You know I was right there for the bombing yesterday right? It’s on my facebook”
“Yes… Go on.” “Something else happened that I haven’t told anybody yet. But I really need to.” Jed told Sam all that had happened, down to the last detail. “And you said this guy was covered in ash? Dreadlocks? Did he smell?” Sam asked. “No… come to think of it he didn’t smell at all. That dirty a vagrant ought to stink like a sewer.” “Good… and nobody else seemed to notice him?” “No… Well I’m not sure, it all happened so fast…” “I’m going to give you a friend’s number… he’s my personal guru, a young pundit.” “So you think there’s something supernatural going on?” “Yes… but I shouldn’t prejudice what my friend has to say. His name is Ayodhya. Call him as soon as you can.” “Yes… Thanks Sam”.
Jed sat in the dark staring at the digits on his phone’s glowing screen with a sense of foreboding. Mom wasn’t home yet, so he didn’t bother to turn on any lights. He didn’t like artificial light much, plus being in the dark made him feel cool, like batman. But tonight Jed found that he wasn’t at home in the dark. He saw frightful things in the shadows of his own room, he felt as if something was watching him. Come on man! You’re no Harry Potter. What’s about to happen will be A LOT less exciting than you think. Jed sighed and pressed the call button. Ring…..
Ring…. Ring… “Good night?” Said the voice on the line. “Good Night… Is this Ayodhya? Samantha Maharaj referred me to you, my name is Jedidiah Jagessar.” “Ah yes… Mr Jagessar, Sam sent me a text, I was expecting your call. “ “She did??” “Yes, she cares a great deal for you… very caring girl… Now Mr. jaggesar, please tell me your story, don’t leave anything out.” Jed shared his tale, slowly and precisely, putting in every minute detail. The pundit said not a word for the entire time, only murmuring sounds to show that he was listening. “Well Mr. Jaggessar, you were raised with some religious teaching yes?” “ My mother is the staunchest catholic alive… so yeah.” “Have you ever read the book of revelation? Or heard of the age of Kali Yuga from a Hindu?” “You mean 2012??” “No, no … None of that mainstream media nonsense “ “But isn’t revelations about war and the end of the world?” “ There are very few who understand the ancient wisdom. Revelations is about the world being made anew, there is much destruction yes… but there is no end” “What does a prophetic vagrant have to do with that?” “You will understand in time Mr. Jaggessar. The bible says that in the last days God will
pour out his spirit on the earth, the young will dream dreams and the old will prophesy. You must read your bible to ready yourself for what is to come” “wait a second… aren’t you a Hindu pundit?! Why are you telling me about the bible?” “You will understand… Just remember to do what he says. Follow the path and be brave Mr. Jed, the only true death is fear, you must remove it from your heart.” “Who is he?? Do what the bible says?” “Goodnight Mr. Jaggessar, remember, follow the path”. Ayodyha hung up. Jed was confused, he put his phone down and lay on his bed in the dark. Read the bible he says. I’d expect that from a pastor… quoting scripture at me, I want answers dammit! What saved me? A madman who glimpsed the future? Or something more? Jed stared into the dark for a while, pondering what had happened. Or am I really taking this all too seriously… He let the darkness embrace him, and slept. “Turn on the light Jed!” said a woman’s voice. It was soft, but insistent. Jed rolled out of bed groggily and groped through the dark for the light switch. Grrrr…. Mom must have come home late…… He nearly stumbled but he found the light. He flipped it on. He screamed like a little girl.
His body froze for a moment while his brain processed what was coming from his eyes. The ash-man was standing in his room, covered in ash and half naked as usual. This time a serpent was coiled around his neck, it flared its forked tongue at Jed. The snake’s scaly skin was an iridescent obsidian black, grey on the underbelly. Two sets of black, beady eyes were staring at him, Serpent’s and something else. “Don’t be so loud, you will wake your mother” said the thunderous voice. “Dammit… You can’t come into people’s homes in the middle of the night and expect them not to be scared”. “I apologize if you felt I meant you harm” “You can’t harm me anyway can you? You’re not real right?” The ash-man punched Jed square in the face, the force of the blow threw Jed to the floor. “Shit! Why did you do that?!” Jed shouted, clutching his jaw in pain. “To help you understand” “Understand what??” “ That I own your very existence, get up, you don’t have time to waste” Jed pulled himself off the floor, he could taste blood in his mouth. As he faced the ash-man he began to shiver uncontrollably. Do what he says… Now I get it, failing on the bravery part though. “By the way…sir… what’s your name?” “You will learn it in time” The ash-man reached his arm out towards Jed, with his index and middle finger
he made a mark in the middle of Jed’s forehead. Jed could feel the grit of the ash being spread in a strange pattern. Fingers still on Jed’s forehead, the ash man spoke. “Open your mind and heed my words Jedidiah. The only true death is fear, but in dying you shall be reborn. Remember these words unto the end.” “It is time. Stay on the path.” The ash-man began to evaporate before Jed’s eyes like smoke, then world melted into blackness.
Jed opened his eyes. He was back in Port of Spain, on Abercrombie Street, next to the library. It was early morning, he was in his suit. The street was empty. The city was empty. As if there was no one else left in the world. He passed the library. This time no ash-man blocked his path. He crossed the street and kept walking. He stopped in front the Red House, the old parliament building. There was a sound like thunder. Jed saw a flash. All was flame. Debris flew in all directions. Jed was blinded by the light, he shut his eyes. He could feel the heat and power of the explosion as it pushed him backwards just for a fraction of a second. Then there was nothing. No pain, no heat.
He opened his eyes. There was an angel standing between him and the blast. Her huge white wings were opened, protecting Jed from harm. “You must see now.” She said. The angel stepped to the side so that Jed could see the explosion’s aftermath. The red parliament building was unharmed. The memorial flame in the courtyard still burned. There were bodies everywhere. The bodies were on the ground bleeding, some burnt by fire. He walked towards them to help. He knew them. One was his father, he was already dead, his eyes still open but lifeless. Jed walked over his body to the others. Some were old friends he hadn’t talked to in years. All had wronged him in some way. He noticed two more bodies locked in an embrace further ahead, he walked to meet them. His heart stopped when he remembered who they were. They were naked. It was his last lover, Isabella, and the man she left Jed for. They were dead, locked in an amorous pose forever. Jed wanted to kill himself. “Why are you showing me this!!” he shouted. “Why are you showing yourself this?” said the angel. “I don’t want to see this!” Jed shouted again. “ The dead here are the ones you have not forgiven. They will hurt you forever unless you learn” Jed felt hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew the angel was right, there was
some part of him that enjoyed seeing them dead. He wanted this, he deserved this. He turned away from the carnage to face the angel. She was flawless. Her face was of the goddess, perfect skin, high cheek bones and delicate features. Her eyes were violet. She was seven feet tall, Svelte but there was power in her form. She folded her wings, they were pure white, like summer clouds. She wore a Gown that seemed to be sewn of molten gold. In her right hand she bore a sword that flashed like lightning. Somehow this divine form reminded him of mother. “Come now Jed. We must leave this place. Follow the path.” Jed left the courtyard and walked with her, up Abercrombie Street, past Woodford Square and the High court. As he walked, the whole world turned pure white, and melted away. They floated in darkness, stars all around them. The angel took Jed by the hand and flew them through the dark to when they needed to be. Then they arrived. They were weightless, no sense of direction, only beauty on all sides. Jed had to choose how to perceive things. The moon became east, the sun became west but to the north there was only darkness. Down was home, Earth. The blue globe was wreathed in white clouds, beneath the clouds the land and sea and all the realms of man. Jed peered down and recognized where they were. Directly above the Caribbean Sea, he could barely see the island he called home, but the South American continent’s
shape was easy to find. “Come, you must see” said the angel. She took him by the hand and spread her wings. They flew around the earth, crossing over the middle passage in mere moments. Jed saw the north of Africa beneath his feet, with the yellow Sahara desert. They passed over the Mediterranean and entered the planet’s shadow. They stood over the Middle East and Asia now, Jed saw city lights twinkling in the night below. There were no borders to tell him where one nation started and another ended, but he could make out India and neighboring Sri Lanka. “Watch closely” she said. She pointed to the heart of Asia and Jed looked. He could see a tiny line of lights appear; as if a million small flames had been lit. The line of light lengthened and marched down through Asia, past the north of India and Pakistan and into the Middle East. Now wherever the line touched, city lights went out. Black smoke rose all over the Persian Gulf, the line was obscured now. “I can’t see it anymore” said Jed. “We will go closer.” The angel held his hand tightly and dove downward. Now they were above a great river beneath the blazing sun. Thick black smoke was rising from numerous fires around them. The angel took them beneath the smoke for him to see. “The dragon has crossed the Euphrates” she said.
There were troops moving on either side of the shore below like swarms of insects. Explosions unfolded and blossomed like little yellow and red flowers in their midst, flowers that consumed insects. Jed looked to the river, it was blackened but he could make out things floating on its surface. Then he realized that there were countless bloated bodies in the water. Jed felt a wave of shock hit him, he wanted to vomit but couldn’t. “There is more “ The angel flew forward again, pulling him along. In mere seconds they were over a city, or what remained of it. Half the buildings were blasted to rubble. Jed could see fighting still going on, little flashes as guns were fired from buildings. Big flashes as tank shells fired shells, destroying even more buildings. Then Jed’s eyes saw only white. The angel hugged him close, shielding his body with her wings. Even in her embrace, Jed could feel intense heat piercing through. He had no idea how much time had passed before the angel released him. The angel released him from her arms and Jed opened his eyes. There was a pillar of fire shining brighter than the sun. It rose to the heavens like smoke, the spot where the city had been was completely blanketed in the fire. Jed was in awe of the sight. “Mankind has enslaved the very power of creation to make war, yet they cannot overpower the fear inside them.” She said, looking upon the cloud of flame as it rose higher, blackening to smoke and ash. “This is only the first “she said, even as she pulled Jed into the sky.
Jed saw thousands of little stars rising from the land and sea all at once, as if swarms of fireflies took to the air to travel the world. The fireflies crossed each other’s paths as some flew west, and some east. When they landed again they gave off brilliant flashes of light and ceased to exist. He realized with horror what was happening. “Has this already happened??” he asked. “This has not yet come to pass.” “How many will die??” “One third of all the peoples, one third of all the rivers will turn to poison and a third of the sky will be blotted out” “Why are you showing me this?? You want me to save the world?? Tell me how!” The angel laughed at him and stroked his head as if he were a child. “No Jed, I want you to save yourself” “From what??” Her smile ceased, and her face became grave. “Remember his words. Fear is death, but in dying you will live. If man gave up fear he will not kill, he will not die and your world will be saved”. She stroked his cheek and smiled tenderly, as if to encourage him. “Now you must face your test, be brave” She took him by the hand again and pulled him away from Earth into dark infinity.
They seemed to travel for years, there was no way to tell time in the dark. Then they arrived in a strange land that seemed to be in perpetual night. There was no sun but the red sky itself gave a sickly weak light. They touched down in a valley between two mountains larger than any on earth. Jed saw huge grotesque figures carved into the mountainside. One in particular unnerved him; it had the head and torso of a man and the body of a scorpion. It was at least one hundred meters tall yet seemed as if it could come to life at any moment. The valley floor was dry and desolate, the ground and rocks all the same dead-looking grey. Jed thought he saw groves of strange white trees, but he realized they were bones. Huge skeletons of things long dead, they went on for miles and miles for the width and length of the valley. Is this a graveyard? Or is it where things come to die? Jed thought. The angel unsheathed her sword and bid Jed walk ahead of her.Jed realized that the valley formed a clear path that seemed to end in the red sky itself. He followed the path. They walked over human skeletons, through the ribcages of leviathans and through the jaws of huge beasts. They walked for some time, the angel following behind silently. Suddenly Jed heard the sickening crack of skeletons being trampled and broken. They were not alone. “You must go on alone” she said, looking disturbed. “Why? I can’t do it alone”
“We are being followed… you must go now! I will hold them off” she said, lowering her voice to a whisper. Jed looked upon her for one last time, she was the only beautiful thing in this world and he didn’t want to leave her. Then he heard an inhuman shriek, something was coming. “Run Jed!” Jed ran as fast as he could, leaving the angel behind. He heard shrieks and the clash of metal upon metal, he looked over his shoulder. The angel was surrounded by a dozen creatures with weapons. They were ugly half human things with blotchy red flesh. They lunged at her with spears and swords. She evaded taking off one of their heads with a slash of her blade. One threw a spear at her body, she had no room to dodge and had to shield herself with her wings. She screamed in pain as the spear pierced her wing, but she kept on fighting. More things came out of the shadows towards her. Jed could not bear to look. He ran till they were out of sight. Then he ran some more. The red sky seemed to get closer now; he was almost out of the valley. He felt relief for a moment, he was lonely and afraid without his angel. He wondered if he would ever see her again. How do I get home without her? I don’t have wings to traverse space-time… His thoughts were cut short when he realized he was running towards the end of the world. The valley was sloping down now, and he could see that the land itself ended
up ahead. If I fall into the sky, will it hurt? His thought was cut short by a shaking of the earth. The mountains groaned, and cracks spread across the valley floor. If I fall into the sky, will I ever stop falling? Fear and doubt gripped him. His pace slowed almost to a halt. He looked around to see if there was some other path to take, but there was nothing but dead rocks and dead bones. He couldn’t stay here; already the loneliness was gnawing at him. There was a sound like thunder and the world shook with its power. Jed looked behind and saw a pillar of fire enter the valley. It bathed the mountainsides with light, flame flowed across the valley floor like a river. It was coming directly at him. Jesus save me. Jed ran as fast as he could but the pillar of fire was a hundred times faster. The edge of the world was a half mile away, Jed doubted he could make it in time. Already he could feel a strong wind rushing past him as the flames came closer. Never thought dying in my homeland would be a luxury. I miss Trinidad… I miss home. Jed kept going. The ground began to slope sharply downward as the sky came closer. He could barely keep his footing as he ran downhill. He gained speed, but it was not enough. The rock beneath him began to shake itself apart, he could feel the heat of the fire as it approached. Jed prayed for a quick death, he had only seconds before the flames overtook him.
Then he remembered. The only true death is fear… In dying I will be reborn… I came here to die? Jed stopped running. He turned to face the flames rushing towards him. The last traces of sanity in him urged him to flee even if it was in vain, but he held his ground. He looked directly into the raging fire and beheld a power beyond his comprehension. Jed threw his arms wide to embrace his end, even as the flames washed over him. He felt pain only for a moment as he became ash. It was early morning and Jed’s mother was watching the news. “Jed, come quick!” she shouted. Jed rolled out of bed and ran to her side. He got a glance in a mirror as he made his way to the living room; a fresh purple bruise marked the side of his face. “What’s wrong mom?” he asked. “The news! They say China invaded Vietnam and Myanmar last night! I don’t understand what’s going on Jed… It feels as if the world is coming apart” Jed lay a hand on his mother’s shoulder and watched the news report with her. China was seizing countries for their food supplies. The price of rice increased fourfold on world markets, the previous price being too high for most people to afford. Jed watched with a sense of detachment as images of death and destruction filled
the screen. He couldn’t find it in himself to be afraid. Fear is death. He put a hand on his cheek and jaw self-consciously, feeling the soreness of his bruise. He really knows how to throw a punch. Jed smiled at the thought. He gave his mother a long hug as if he had not seen her in years. “It’s going to be fine mom… hmmm, do we have ginger and soy sauce?” Jed asked. “Yes… Why Jed?” “I’m going to make you Chinese rice for lunch” Jed’s mother smiled at his joke, she was used to his dark humour. “What happened to your face?” She asked, looking at his bruise. “I was running”.
